Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Randomize
