From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
Randomize
