Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
Terrible idea I love it
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
