youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
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