i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
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