I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
Randomize
