I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
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