it hurts more in the daytime
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
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Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
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