i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
Randomize