Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
Randomize
