I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
Randomize
