My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
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