walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
you know you’re single when you try to cook yourself a nice pasta dinner but you’re too weak to open the container of sauce and theres no one around to help you
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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