Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
Randomize
