I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
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