Where are you?
In a non slutty way
Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
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