Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
Randomize
