She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
She bit a glass in half.
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
Randomize
