We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
Randomize