im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
Randomize
