At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
This is the worst date ever. Pls kill me. No, wait, scratch that, stick to the original plan of killing Paris Hilton, I'll live though this
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
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