Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
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