The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
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