I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
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