Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
My breasts were aching with rage.
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
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