Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
i woke up with my moms heels on underneath your couch cushions
you want 1 or 2 eggos?
you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
Randomize
