is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Randomize
