i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
Randomize
