I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
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