I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
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