that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
Randomize