And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
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