Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
Randomize
