this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Randomize