What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
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