I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
Randomize
