i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
Just puked most of my soul out..
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
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