Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
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