You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
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