Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
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