so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
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