there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
Randomize
