We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
the room spins SO much faster in panama
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
Randomize
