Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
Randomize
