so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
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