I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
Let the clothes fall where they may.
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
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