We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
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