You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
What a dumb baby whore.
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
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