what if every blade of grass was a penis?
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize
