What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
I was just giving a mobile app demo to a client, on my iPhone, when a reminder alert appeared across the page blinking "12pm: go home and give John head". You're an asshole
Hahaha oops.
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
Randomize
