The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
I informed him that we had less than 5 minutes left to live, and his first words were "I'm trying to think of a good They Might Be Giants quip"
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Randomize
