Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
Randomize
