we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
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