Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Randomize
