So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize