they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
