Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
then he tried to convert me to islam
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
The gyno waiting room is so strange because the pregnant woman next to me is making a PowerPoint of her pregnant photo shoot with her husband and I’m sitting here trying to figure out from Instagram who I had sex with on Sunday lol
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize
