Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
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