apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
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