dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
Randomize
