This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
so my phone accidentally called my dad from my purse at 2:14am....he has a 5 min voicemail of me discussing how Alicia should bang the guy who eats good pussy... i can never look at my dad in the face again....
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
Be still, my beating vagina.
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
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