Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize
