My liver just broke up with me...
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
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