I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
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