i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
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