She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
Randomize
